Why Do I Push Him Away When I Love Him

Why Do I Push Him Away When I Love Him?

Love can be a complex and mysterious emotion, capable of evoking both immense joy and intense fear. It is not uncommon for individuals to push away the ones they love, even when their feelings for them are strong. If you find yourself in such a situation, where you are constantly pushing away someone you love, it is important to understand the underlying reasons behind this behavior.

1. Fear of Vulnerability:
One of the common reasons for pushing away a loved one is the fear of being vulnerable. Opening up emotionally and allowing someone to truly know you can be daunting, especially if past experiences have left you feeling hurt or betrayed. By pushing them away, you create a protective barrier to shield yourself from potential pain.

2. Fear of Rejection:
Deep down, you may fear that if you let someone in, they will eventually reject or abandon you. This fear can stem from past experiences or feelings of unworthiness. By pushing the person away, you try to take control of the situation, avoiding the risk of rejection.

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3. Low Self-Esteem:
When you struggle with low self-esteem, it can be difficult to believe that someone could genuinely love and care for you. You may push them away as a way to protect yourself from disappointment or to test their love for you.

4. Past Trauma:
If you have experienced past trauma, it can impact your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. Pushing away someone you love may be a subconscious way of protecting yourself from potential triggers or retraumatization.

5. Fear of Intimacy:
Intimacy involves both emotional and physical vulnerability. If you have a fear of intimacy, you may push your loved one away to avoid getting too close and potentially losing your independence or sense of self.

6. Lack of Trust:
Trust is essential in any relationship. If you have trust issues due to past betrayals or experiences, it can be challenging to fully open up to someone. Pushing them away becomes a defense mechanism to prevent yourself from being hurt again.

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7. Fear of Abandonment:
A fear of abandonment can lead you to push away someone you love before they have the chance to leave you. This fear may stem from childhood experiences or past relationships where you felt abandoned or neglected.

8. Need for Control:
Pushing someone away can be a way of exerting control over the relationship. By creating distance, you feel more in control and protected from potential heartbreak or disappointment.

9. Fear of Losing Independence:
Being in a committed relationship often requires compromises and a merging of lives. If you have a strong need for independence or fear losing your individuality, you may push your partner away to maintain a sense of freedom.

10. Communication Issues:
Difficulties in expressing your emotions or needs can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. If you struggle with effective communication, you may unconsciously push your loved one away as a result.

11. Unresolved Conflict:
Unresolved conflict can create tension and distance in a relationship. If issues are left unaddressed or unresolved, you may push your partner away to avoid confrontation or emotional pain.

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12. Self-Sabotage:
Sometimes, individuals self-sabotage their relationships due to low self-worth or a fear of happiness. Pushing away someone you love can be a subconscious way of preventing yourself from experiencing true happiness and fulfillment.

13. Unmet Emotional Needs:
If your emotional needs are not being met within the relationship, you may push your partner away in an attempt to protect yourself. This can be a way of self-preservation, as you seek to find someone who can meet your emotional needs.

In conclusion, pushing away someone you love can stem from a variety of underlying reasons, such as fear of vulnerability, low self-esteem, past trauma, or unresolved conflicts. Understanding these reasons is crucial in order to address and overcome these behaviors, allowing for healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Remember, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and guidance in navigating these complex emotions and patterns.

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